happy two year tympanoplasty-anniversary to me!

I was a baby when I got my first ear infection, and from then on, every time I got sick it would come with a side of ear pain. In the late 90s and early 2000s, I had a handful of tube procedures done at the recommendation of my pediatrician. I remember bits and pieces of these: the bubblegum scented anesthesia and then waking up to a grape popsicle and stuffed blue bear (I had a collection of these bears by the final procedure, lol).

If you’re unfamiliar with tubes, they are small plastic, teflon, metal, or silicone tubes that are implanted into the eardrum. They help decrease inner ear pressure and encourage fluid drainage with frequent infection. After a tube procedure, the eardrum should heal itself and push the tubes out as it does, but unfortunately that did not happen with my ear! I was left with a permanent hole in my eardrum, the inability to go underwater without infection, pain on airplanes, and degenerative hearing loss.

As I grew up, I got accustomed to a certain amount of ear pressure, tinnitus, and hearing loss; but I didn’t realize how much it was happening until around 2023.

When I would go on a plane pre-surgery, I’d experience anywhere from discomfort to about an “eight out of ten” pain. I never knew how bad it was going to be, which was anxiety-inducing in and of itself. There were multiple plane rides where I ended up crying from the pain, trying to hide my face while also shoving copious amounts of gum and pretzels in my mouth (relief via chewing).

After landing, the pain would slowly dissipate over the next hour, and then I’d be fine! But in October of 2023, on a plane from Missouri to Cali, the pain shot up past a ten out of ten and did not dissipate after landing. I wrote in my journal, “It feels like a red hot poker is being shoved through my ear into my brain over and over and over. I think my head might explode.”

How fun!

My hearing got way worse after this incident, which makes me wonder if my eardrum ruptured on that plane ride. Because when I finally got an appointment with my doctor the following spring, she said something while looking into my ear that nobody wants to hear from their doctor:

“Hmm. I’m not quite sure what I’m looking at here.”

And then she promptly wrote me a referral to Sacramento ENT in Arden. Luckily, I was able to get in with them within a month or two. When I first met my surgeon, Dr. V, he took a look in my ear and became very excited. Without explanation, he asked if it was okay to grab a couple of his students and colleagues and show them my ear. Again - not very reassuring, but what can ya do.

After Dr. V had his moment, he let me know that my left eardrum was over 50% gone, and that I had severe Eustachian tube dysfunction in my right eardrum. He said I was a good candidate for a tympanoplasty for the left eardrum, and potentially, eventually the right as well.

During a typical tympanoplasty, they will remove grafts of skin from the inner ear, behind the ear, and thigh/glute if needed, and then use that to patch up the hole in the eardrum. But because my case was so severe, they would basically need to recreate my entire eardrum with skin grafts. The likelihood of success was low, but worthwhile. Plus it was fully covered by my insurance at the time - so we got a tympanoplasty on the books for August of that year.

A tympanoplasty is an outpatient surgery, so I was admitted around 7am, put under by 8am, and home by 3pm. Besides some embarrassing anasthesia-induced woes, everything went smoothly. Now it was a waiting game until my four month check-up, where we would see if it took.

My partner, family, friends, and cats took good care of me during the recovery. My equilibrium took a pretty big hit, and it was a challenge to be upright for the first week. I honestly just kind of slept for two weeks straight, until I had to get back to Remedy.

For the first two to three weeks, I was not allowed to blow my nose and I had to make sure my mouth was open every time I sneezed (those first few sneezes were so scary). For the first few months, I had to wear a big ole cotton ball in my ear and do lots of gnarly wound-care. If I wasn’t wearing the cotton ball, occasional chunks of scabs would just fall right out of my ear - not super cute. It was also definitely a challenge to mask, as the strap hit the exact incision line behind my ear. And my tinnitus increased while my hearing decreased at first, which are both normal post-op. All in all, it wasn’t as easy as I’d anticipated, but it was better than a hot poker in my brain.

Finally, the check-up came around. To everyone’s surprise, my hearing test results showed normal range hearing for the first time in my entire life!

Now, two years later, lots has changed.

Some small things, like the left ear’s wax is different than my right’s. Since they widened the ear canal, earphones will just fall right out, and unfortunately now my left ear sits noticeably lower than my right. Luckily my hair is usually big enough to hide this, but I do have to keep my glasses higher on one side if I don’t want to look crooked.

And some bigger things, like I’m playing music again. My confidence in music dimmed a bit after I wasn’t able to properly hear myself, and was consistently singing a half step down. Now, my pitch is back where it should be (for the most part). I’ve also started working with a vocal coach. I have always been soft-spoken, and I think that was partially due to the ear issues. Working on speaking more intentionally and loudly has been really beneficial to hobbies like singing, but also in my work and personal life.

I’ve also realized how loud the world is. There was so much I wasn’t hearing, that I didn’t even know was happening. It’s overstimulating at times, but two years later I’m getting the hang of things. Which brings me to the third change, which is realizing that I have an auditory processing disorder. Having normal range results but still not being able to hear in specific situations was confusing at first, but learning about APD has helped me understand what that is all about.

The last change that I’ll speak on is that planes don’t hurt any more! I still anticipate it every time, but so far, so good. Knock on wood!

To wrap things up, I’m really grateful to be able to hear. Even if I need another surgery down the line, or if my eardrum deteriorates again for some reason, I feel lucky to have had this opportunity and experience.